so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
