Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
