I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
