I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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