I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
