so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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