I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
