Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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