I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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