I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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