he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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