Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
