I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this just has baby written all over it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
