We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
