I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
