It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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