Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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