summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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