Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
