Nicole vs. Life
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
