My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
