to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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