I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found puke in my bra..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
