Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
