i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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