remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
