Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
