Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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