I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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