mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize