the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
