I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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