I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize