goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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