I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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