ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
