Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
