So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
