You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
