She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
