Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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