my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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