Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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