Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
