Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
