I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
