i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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