i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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