Yo dont text me then not text me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
