i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
