How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize