So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
