I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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