so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
