ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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