i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
