Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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