Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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