When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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